20 lessons 2020 taught me…

Wow… we have made it to December 31st, 2020. This year has been filled with so many ups and downs but it definitely was nothing like any other year I’ve experienced. I wanted to take some time to congratulate you for just making it this far… Social media will make you think that you weren’t successful in 2020 if you didn’t learn a new trade, start your own business, go back to school, etc. Social media creates unfair expectations and this is what severely affects our mental health. I’m here to say that you made it through this entire crazy year and you are about to enter into a new one… that in itself is a major accomplishment. To those that did not get a chance to finish this journey with us, you are in our hearts and minds always. 

For the past week, I have been reflecting on my experience in 2020 and I came up with 20 things that 2020 taught me… 

It is okay to plan things out but be open to the possibility of those plans falling through 

I am most definitely a big planner. I want things to go a certain way and I realized that a lot of what I planned for this year did not go exactly the way I envisioned. A lot of us did not incorporate a pandemic into our 2020 plan but it happened anyway. So, it’s super important to understand that it’s okay to have some sort of structure for yourself but open yourself up to the possibility of life taking a different course. 

You can literally only do your best

I think this is one of my biggest lessons for the year. As simple as this statement is, it calms me down so much. In whatever you do, if you are doing the best that you can possibly do that is literally all that you can do. There is no reason to stress or feel as if there is more to be done. You have physically, mentally, and emotionally put in all the work that can possibly be put in. At this point, it’s time to trust yourself and your abilities. 

Trust yourself

I think this lesson goes hand in hand with the last lesson. I feel like a lot of my anxiety and stress comes from the fact that I don’t entirely trust myself. I will genuinely work really hard and do my very best but still struggle with the “what if…” thoughts. At the end of the day, I really have to talk to myself and remind myself that I know what I’m doing! Stop doubting yourself. 

You cannot keep extending yourself to people who are not willing to do the same 

You shouldn’t do anything with the intention of getting something in return but there is something about doing for others and noticing that they would never do the same for you. At a certain point, you realize that burdening yourself for someone else is just burning you out and your efforts are never reciprocated. I think that I struggled with this for more than just this year but I’m finally able to realize the situations that I am overexerting myself and getting nothing in return. The goal is to foster reciprocal relationships so that I never feel like I am being used and tossed away. 

Your comfort>>> everyone else’s comfort
This is a huge one for me! I tend to think about everyone else’s feelings before my own. I’ll make excuses for people’s actions but never take into consideration how those actions might negatively affect me. I learned that you should never seek to make others comfortable at the expense of your own comfort. 

Do not romanticize the bare minimum because you will be disappointed 

There isn’t much to say here… but in one of Lauryn Hill’s songs she said “respect is just a minimum”. Keep that in mind when you are looking for a significant other. I think a lot of times when you are treated the “right way” after being mistreated you became overly satisfied with the basics. Keep the bar high! 

Any idea you can think of is worth executing 

Do not underestimate the possibility of executing your dreams… It might seem impossible or far-fetched in the beginning but slowly your ideas will come to fruition. This year I had so many ideas and they all came during the hardest points of the year. Fortunately, I was able to use these ideas as an outlet from all the chaos of 2020. This blog was one of those ideas and here we are…

Finding comfort in your solitude is so important 

I value my alone time and I don’t really enjoy having that time being invaded by anyone. There are a lot of people that struggle with being alone and it might stem from fearing their own thoughts… I think that when you work on making your mind a safe and kind place to be in, it makes it way easier to be alone. Of course, that takes time and a lot of positive self-talk but it is possible. Mastering being comfortable alone just makes having the right company more valuable. 

Your timing is entirely different from the timing of the people around you.

I feel like this is something that is posted all over social media all the time. It’s ironic because at the same time social media pressures you to be at the same speed as everyone else. I have realized that once you focus on your own journey you will notice that you have made so much progress. You really can't measure your success from someone else’s metrics… it just doesn’t make sense. It’s okay to use other people as motivation but then you have to convert their process into your own path. 

Do not entertain anything that is not adding value to you 

Wasting your time on someone or something that is not making you better is not worth it. I think prioritizing your time is key because it's something that you can never get back. 

There is so much power in your words

Manifestation works but it requires a lot of effort and faith 

Speak highly of yourself in all spaces because the energy you put out about yourself translates into your self-esteem 

 I wanted to put lessons 11-13 together because they all speak to a similar idea. Speaking things into existence is such an amazing experience. I am a firm believer in whatever you put out into the world is what will return to you… If you want something, talk about it as if you already have it. Manifestation will only work if you are actively working towards the said thing you are speaking about. Positive self-talk is also super important because you are giving yourself the confidence to execute the things you have been manifesting. You will not work towards a goal if you do not think you are worthy of attaining it. 

Situations are literally only temporary so don’t stress 

I remember in high school I had a teacher tell me “this too shall pass” and its meaning did not really hit me until this year. It’s hard to understand this in the moment but think of it this way… all of the hardest moments of your life you have gotten through. At one point you were probably wondering how you would get through a situation and now you are so far from it. Do make a temporary situation feel like a permanent one. 

You have different friends for different purposes… do not expect all of your friend dynamics to be the same 

We all acquire different friends from different points in our lives and it's important to recognize their individual roles in our lives. It is unfair to expect a certain dynamic out of a friendship that was never built in the first place or at least communicated. 

What is meant for you can NEVER be threatened… don’t sweat. 

There definitely is not much to say here but just remember that what is meant for you will always be meant for you. Nothing or no one can take that away from you! Keep focusing on your individual journey. 

You have to find passion in whatever you’re doing… if not, you will always fail 

Another major lesson for me is that you cannot just do something you are not passionate about. Your lack of interest will reveal itself in one way or another and you will never be happy.

It’s okay to speak to God when you’re going through it but don’t forget to thank him for the days you prayed for 

I love speaking to God but I noticed that I speak to him way more when I am stressed and anxious about something. I think it's equally important to call on him when you are feeling grateful, happy, safe, loved, etc. Not only asking for guidance when life gets difficult but thanking him for the good that you have experienced.

Find a balance between working hard and having the time of your life 

I have this problem where I focus entirely on school during the semester and forget to have fun. I always feel like I need to earn a relaxing or fun experience. That is completely false and will cause you to burn out! You should not be working hard for weeks and then only get a break when you feel you “deserve” it. You deserve to enjoy yourself without feeling guilty about it. 

Just surviving the day––let alone an entire year–– is enough to celebrate… 

I talked a lot about this earlier but just remember that you did enough throughout this year. 2021 is a new year for new inspiration, relationships, and experiences… I can’t wait to see what y’all make of it. 

Those were my 20 lessons from 2020! Please comment some of your own lessons so we can reminisce together. Super proud of y’all! 

Stay safe + empowered 

Love,

BWE