I realized that no one really ever talks about the growing process that most young Black women have to go through that their white counterparts never have to. This growing process I refer to it as an identity metamorphosis… Everyone has to grow physically, mentally and emotionally as they move through life. This metamorphosis I am speaking of is different. Black girls, no matter their background, have a similar experience of social exclusion. This exclusion causes them to change their perceptions of themselves, their beauty standards, and long to be something they could never be. Okay well most non-white ethnic groups face this “social exclusion” too, what’s your point? For Black girls this exclusion has not only affected how they feel about themselves but how people within their own community view them. It creates a culture that dictates how they should be treated in general. Let me explain…

Young Black girls are taught to hate the aspects of themselves that do not align with the white social norm. They are taught to alter––rather than embrace––their physical appearance, tone, behavior, and standards to appease a world of people that are intimidated by their unmatched beauty, grace and uniqueness. Who are the teachers of this self-hate and internalized racism? White supremacists and those that follow and uplift white supremacist ideologies. Throughout a Black woman’s life-time, she has to go through a journey of unlearning these teachings and relearning who she is, her power and potential. Black women go through an identity metamorphosis which is similar to the metamorphosis of a butterfly except Black women are turning into the versions of themselves that threaten the foundations of white racism.

Black women are groomed for their entrance into the world at a very young age. They are told how their hair should be kept, what type of clothes they should wear and exactly how to conduct themselves in all spaces. While young Black women are taught how to simply exist in society to survive, the world is taught exactly how to abuse, control and manipulate them. From the time of slavery, Black women’s bodies were seen as disposable and “rapable”. The conditions of slavery set the tone of how Black women were to be seen and treated. Sexual exploitation served as a mechanism to control the mind and body of Black women. This is because when “one’s body is not respected; one begins to hate oneself”. White racism provided the foundation for the internal battle in which Black women have to fight for a portion or even a duration of their lives. Sexual violence against Black women has been derived from slavery and has been normalized in their romantic relationships. According to the 2010-2012 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, nationally, 45% of Black women experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. The normalization of violence against Black women has taught them to associate true love with pain and suffering. 

Slavery has done a phenomenal job at dictating the value of Black women which has been internalized for centuries. Currently, the mass media is the silent indicator of value. From a young age, Black girls are underrepresented in the shows and movies they watch. The Black girls presented in shows always play the role of the sidekick or best friend and rarely the main character. The love interest in these films are rarely the Black girls but the non-Black or racially ambiguous main character. What does that teach young Black women? In order to be desirable or the main attraction, you have to look like anything but yourself. The only show I can remember seeing as a child with a Black woman as the main character was That So Raven and even Raven adhered to white social norms. Her hair was mainly straightened and her character did not reflect who I felt I was.

Personally, it was the media, children at school, and subliminal messages received from society that taught me to hate myself before I even knew who I was. In elementary school, I was the only Black girl from second grade until eight grade. I remember being treated differently by the girls in my class and I knew it was because of how different I looked. As an attempt to be accepted and desired by my peers, I made it my mission to look and act like them. I would ask to get my hair straightened and ball my eyes out when my mother attempted to braid my hair. From the age of seven years old, I knew that the boys I had crushes on would never like me back. I associated beauty, desirability and favor with the white girls I sat in class with every day for seven years. Not only was this phase of my life detrimental to my self-esteem but caused me to chase this idea of the mythical norm.

Almost every Black woman has a story about how she attempted to get rid of her natural hair texture. Young Black girls are taught that their hair is untamable, unruly and nappy. There are limited sections for hair products in stores for girls with thick and coarse hair textures. When the words “professional woman” are searched into Google, the only pictures that arise are white women with straight hair. White supremacist esthetics are so ingrained in our society that “no white dominating authority has to be present for these practices of white supremacy to impinge on the lives of Black people”. I remember being in camp around the age of 6-7 years old and another young Black girl came up to me and asked me why my hair was so nappy in front of a gym full of children. Before this point, I had not focused too much on my physical appearance but after I never wanted my natural hair out again. White supremacy is so deeply woven into society that young Black girls are taught to hate their hair before they even know how to do it themselves. 

Metamorphosis is a gradual change from a caterpillar to a butterfly. The term is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as the “process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages.” For Black women, it is not necessarily a transformation from an  “immature” form but from a white pleasing and self-rejecting form. The emergence from the chrysalis to a butterfly reflects the point at which a Black woman realizes the constraints placed on her being. She breaks through the shell imposed by white supremacy and is unapologetically herself. She reclaims her identity and sense of self. The question that now arises is how does she do this?

In order to reverse the spell white supremacist, cast on the lives of Black women, it requires an in depth acknowledgment of oppression and an understanding of the catastrophic impact of white racism on self-image. White racism and the idea of the white social norm can be debunked through refusing to believe it is an unchanging aspect of life. White supremacist want Black women to hold their oppression as a permanent staple of their life as an effort to maintain control. If you believe that whatever you are going through is permanent, you will not try to change anything about it. Thus, it is important to keep in mind that whatever has a beginning also has an end. Although racism has proved to play a major role in shaping our identity and behavior, it has the ability to be undone.

Only when Black women have acknowledged that white supremacist ideals are mechanisms to control their beings and suppress their true identity, will they reach their final phase of metamorphosis and become a butterfly. This journey of the Black girl metamorphosis describes the process that Black women have to go through before they become their true authentic selves. Unlike their white counterparts, they are not born into a world that uplifts their features and views them as beautiful and valuable. Black women are taught how to assimilate and cope rather than embrace and love themselves. Media, society and social norms are contrived from white racism and work in ways to promote the “status quo”.  When Black women acknowledge their oppression and  challenge white supremacy, they are tearing down the white social norm framework and adhering to their spirits. When Black women become butterflies they are even more powerful, invincible and beautiful. 

Thanks for reading this super long post, love y’all

Stay Safe + Empowered

Love,

Black Woman Empowered